We drove to the beach on a whim – I needed air. On the way there we talked about boys and love and the inevitable heartache that comes from mixing the two. We sang along to bad 90’s music and sped our way down to the coast. I was leaving. Leaving behind a messy desk full of to-do lists and blinking emails in my inbox. Leaving behind the things that hurt and the things that make me numb. Driving driving driving. Racing ever faster towards the big blue watery end of the road. If I could just get there, if I could just see it. I press my foot into the pedal and outside the trees whip by us faster. Driving is almost as good as being at the beach, and it’s one of God’s blessings that I must drive for a bit in order to get to the beach. It’s like having my cake and eating it, too.
Park. Walk. Sit. Breathe. Rest.
There’s something about the ocean. Something about that vast blue blanket that begs for your attention. There’s no room for your own insecurities, anxieties, or worries when you’re standing where the water meets the land and the waves are crashing at your feet. I can rest here.
We sit in front of the ocean like it is a beautiful movie being projected on an invisible screen just for us. I can’t take my eyes off the blueness, the bigness. But it’s not a screen, and it’s not a film – it’s the most real thing I’ve seen in days.
I like the ocean.
It’s humbling to remember that the world has nothing to do with me. These waves are crashing even when I’m not here, and I think I love that the most about the sea, about the world. Moments like this, sights like this, they center me on what’s really important. I remember the beauty, His glory, the possibilities. Sometimes I sit for too long; I work a few too many hours a day. I worry – Lord, do I worry. I plan. I task, but in the buzz of all that, I sometimes forget to dream.
I like to dream.
it’s history it’s poetry from shannon s on Vimeo.
“Among other things, you’ll find that you’re not the first person who was ever confused and frightened and even sickened by human behavior. You’re by no means alone on that score, you’ll be excited and stimulated to know. Many, many men have been just as troubled morally and spiritually as you are right now. Happily, some of them kept record of their troubles. You’ll learn from them – if you want to. Just as someday, if you have something to offer, someone will learn something from you. It’s a beautiful reciprocal arrangement. And it isn’t education. It’s history. It’s poetry.“
- Excerpt from Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger
